The Verdict

After writing yesterday's blog post, it became pretty clear to me what my desires are for 2014. Sometimes just writing everything down - whether it be in an email, a blog update, or a detailed spreadsheet with weighted and color-coded pros and cons - clarifies how I feel about something. Having everything laid out in black and white helps me relax the mind enough to listen to the gut.

By the time I got in bed, I was 98% certain of my choice; when I awoke this morning, I felt at peace with my decision, excited about the coming year and all of its challenges, and confident that I will be happy with my decision a year from now and beyond.

I am happy to announce I am NOT racing Ironman Chattanooga in 2014!

(The whole world can exhale now! Everyone can go on with their lives! ha ha)

As much fun as it would be, I can tell my desire is just not high enough to get the job done. When you're in the middle of training and you're tired, worn down, pushed to your limit with training and planning and showering and laundry and everything else and you hardly ever see your husband or your kid and almost never see your mom or your sister and niece and you forget to pay the water bill and you start to wonder why the hell am I doing this?, that desire needs to be there to pull you through. I suspect I will have that desire again in the future, but I certainly don't have it now.

Boy, is my mom going to be happy to read this! She texted me 6 times before I even got out of bed this morning (that's the equivalent of spitting out her coffee in alarm). Apparently she did not fix her coffee before reading the blog post, but everything else, I got right: she doesn't want me to do it, but she would support me if I did. How awesome is that?!?

So, what will I do in 2014 instead of an Ironman? Lots of awesome things:

• Charleston Half Marathon in January with my friends whom I don't get to see often enough
• Asheville Marathon at the Biltmore in March with my husband with whom I don't get to run often enough
• A full season of duathlons in NC, SC and GA (and maybe AL and AZ... We'll see...)
• The local sprint triathlons
• An organized bike ride or two
• Volunteer at Ironman Chattanooga so I can cheer on all my friends!

Plus the usual stuff: lots of traveling for work, a few concerts with the South Carolina Philharmonic, an actual family vacation to DC, and... oh yeah... I will probably pay all my bills on time.

Also, I'll turn 40. How hard could that be?

Thanks, friends, for your advice and perspective. I look forward to supporting all of you on your road to Chatty and partying with you at the finish line.

Then, in 2015: CHOO-CHOO!

Decision Time

At some point in the middle of the night, this post will be delivered to my mom's e-mail inbox. When she awakens tomorrow, she'll probably fix herself a cup of coffee, sit down on the sofa with her laptop, and open her email.

At this point, she's wondering, "Uh-oh. Why is Jen writing about me? I don't get it."

And when she finds out why I'm writing this, she'll probably spit out her coffee, open her eyes wide, and shriek, "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"

So, what is the point? What could be so surprising or alarming or exciting?

It's this: I think I want to race Ironman Chattanooga next year.

I know, Mom. I know I know I know.

The inaugural Ironman Chattanooga is scheduled for late September 2014. I strongly want to do this race, for several reasons:

• It's a relatively short drive away.
• The course looks awesome.
• There won't be a heat index of 100 degrees like we had in Texas.

However, a good-sized part of me does not want to do another full in 2014. My plan (before they announced the location) was to volunteer at the new southeast US Ironman in 2014, let them work out the kinks that inevitably accompany a first-year race, then race it in 2015.

So why the change? Why don't I want to wait until 2015?

There is a large contingent from this area signing up to race it in 2014. There will be many opportunities to train with a group, lots of moral support and camaraderie, and one hell of a party in Chattanooga. I did my training for IMTX alone (I'm grateful that my friend Ray joined me for the second half of many long rides), and although that enabled me to stick to my own workouts and paces and heartrate zones, it was tough. I want to know what it would be like to experience Ironman training and racing with friends, and this might be my only opportunity. Not to mention, if I don't sign up this year, it's going to be a loooooong year of being jealous of everyone else's workouts and fellowship. I will greatly miss out. I might have to suspend my Facebook account for the year just so I don't have to see what a great time everyone is having training for Ironman Chattanooga.

So, why not go for it? What is keeping me from jumping in head-first for 2014?

Well....

First of all, I don't think that level of training is good for me. I could see doing it every once in a while, but certainly not every year. It could be argued that major endurance events damage you physically, the ramifications of which won't be seen until 20 years down the road (yes, there are studies, and yes, I can email you the links if you want to read them). Of course, you could also argue that athletes who have completed multiple Ironman races are healthier than 99% of the population. But we're talking about a sample size of one: Me. And for me, constant long-distance training is not good.

Secondly, I currently have no desire to strike out on 4- to 8-hour workouts or to spend Friday evenings prepping my fuel for Saturday long rides or to fork out a small fortune on regular massage and PT. I am LOVING my short workouts for Oly training. I LOVE that I have time to spend with Jeff and Sophie and the energy to do yard work and the money to fix some things around the house. I LOVE that when my workouts are less than three hours, the extra body fat comes off and the muscles get bigger and I feel strong and healthy. I LOVE that I'm getting a little speed back (very little and very slowly, but I will do the work and I will be patient and the results will come). I am not ready to jump back into Ironman training; but, training technically wouldn't begin until early April, and who knows? I might be ready by then.

Thirdly, I really enjoyed the duathlon I did last month. Really, really, really enjoyed it. I want to do more of those. And not as one-offs, but as goal races. I can see myself having a whole 2014 season of duathlons. Thinking about it excites me. It's a new goal with new information to learn and new workouts to try and new people to meet. And I wanna go fast.

Furthermore, Ironman training and racing is expensive. That's money we could be spending on other things, like Sophie's piano lessons, Jeff's tri bike, Jeff's new car, and the coach I want to hire. Also, I wouldn't hate it if I got race wheels.

Jeff gave me the go-ahead to do it before I even finished the sentence, "They announced that the new Ironman will be in Chattanooga!" Sophie told me she doesn't care, as long as she gets to come to Tennessee with us for the race. I have a feeling my mom will say, "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DO ANOTHER IRONMAN!"

I could go on, I'm sure, in support of both sides of the coin. I've been mulling this over, changing my mind back and forth and back again, since they announced the race a couple of weeks ago.

And now decision time is here.

For undisclosed reasons, I have to make my decision by tomorrow.

I am certain I will make the right choice, because no matter what I decide, I will make the best of it. I'm also certain that I will have regrets with either choice, because there is sacrifice either way.

So, I will sleep on it. I must say, writing this has helped a lot, and I think I know which way I'm leaning. But I will give it a good sleep and go with my gut and everything will be alright.

And if it's not, I reserve the right to bitch about it constantly for the next year.

Playing Catch-Up

I have lots of catching up to do. Life has been busy and I just haven't had time to write it all down.

I raced the duathlon last month and LOVED IT. I love to run, so a race where I get to run TWICE is double the fun. There were only 7 females, so for the first (and possibly only) time in my life, I won.

I always wondered what it would feel like to win a race. Although it was exciting, it wasn't very satisfying, as my performance was not my best. I did my best for that day but I'm still quite far behind where I was a year ago as far as speed is concerned. And when I tried to sprint to the finish, there was no extra gear left in my legs. My mind said "GO!" and my legs said "La la la la - We can't hear you!" What a strange feeling!

Ideally, one would want a satisfying performance AND a win. But if I had to choose one or the other, I'd probably choose the strong performance. Well... depending on who I was racing. I don't know. Maybe I'll just have to go after both.

Since the duathlon, I've begun training for my next goal race: The Pinehurst International Triathlon in October. I'm doing another Dave Scott training plan, and as usual, he's kicking my ass. I love it. I'm so glad to be finally working on speed again and to have some structure to my training. I have a few sprints before that race but I'll just treat them as training days.

I raced the Greenville Sprint Triathlon a couple weeks ago. It was my first time doing that race and the course is wonderful. It wasn't an "A" race for me so I decided to experiment with some different things. I swam the swim at an easy pace, walked to my bike in transition, and walked slowly to the mount line for the bike leg. This was intentional, to remind myself that I was not racing. I held back a bit on the bike leg to keep my heartrate under a certain number, but was able to enjoy a game of cat-and-mouse with a 62-year-old man right until we dismounted. I hurried through T2 then ran a steady run, again keeping the heartrate down. It was hard to go do a race where I wasn't trying to go fast, but I got out of it what I needed.

For the past 3 weeks, I've cleaned up my food intake: very little gluten, dairy, sugar, or processed foods. I'm working on gaining muscle and losing fat (I can tell it's working because my quads are growing and my breasts are shrinking) but the added benefits are more energy, better sleep, and clearer lungs.

Speaking of clearer lungs, today I took the last dose of the steroid I've been on for 4 months for my lungs. Now we wait and see if my lungs continue to cooperate. Going into fall allergy season, this will be a challenge, but I'm feeling optimistic, especially because I'm eating well. Food choices seem to have had a moderate impact on my symptoms.

Earlier this week, I had a terrible run. Awful. Just bad, rough, crappy, and not good at all. It was about 12 hours after a tough bike ride with lots of hill reps, and my quads felt pretty shredded. The run was supposed to be at race pace (whatever that is...) but I couldn't hold it more than 2 miles. I haven't had a run that bad in about a year.

I view this as good news, because I believe that a "bad run" always precedes a breakthrough. I think my body is adjusting to the increase in training intensity and will bounce back a little stronger and faster. Progress is imminent!

I also had the worst swim in year. It was my first time in the water in 10 days, and it was as if I had never done freestyle before. Flailing limbs, multiple snorts of water, sloppy drills - nothing went right. Forget how slow I was - it just plain old felt bad. Even when I'm slow, I usually enjoy being in the water, but this was brutal. But rather than signaling a swim breakthrough, it really points to a lack of consistent swim training. I have renewed my commitment to get in the water more often.

There are a few mantras I use to get through these tough patches of training. Usually one or the other gets me back on track:

 

I will do the work and I will be patient and the results will come.
(I enjoy doing the work; it's the being patient that is so damn hard.)

 

This too shall pass.

(Whether it's going well or really sucking, it will change soon.)

 

HTFU

(For when it's not getting better fast enough.)

Feel free to use these as needed. They work well at the office too.