I found my limits.

It has been a difficult week.

You know that saying about only finding your limits by pushing past them? Well, I think I found mine.

It actually started with the end of last week. Sunday, I rode longer than I should have (jumped from 47 miles the previous week to 62 miles last week), and with more intensity at times. If I had done anything else stupid that day, it would've been the Dumb Ass Trifecta. (I'm sure there was something else, I'm just too tired to remember it.) That combo culminated in the worst knee pain yet. This, after the prior week being completely pain-free, really threw me for a loop.

Monday was a rest day. Had it not been, I would've taken the day off from workouts to let the knee rest. I was in a lot of pain, and I started to lose my confidence that I'll be able to complete the training (and thus, the race). All the "what-if" questions filled my head: What if I can't work out this week? What if it gets worse when I try to run or ride again? What if Dr Awesome can't fix this? What if it hurts that badly during the race?

Okay, for that last question, my answer is "HTFU." I don't want to cause injury to my body during training, but when the big day is here, I suppose I will suffer through anything to finish that race, unless it's a life-threatening problem.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm only in Week 9, and I have a long way to go. Half of me is scared I may not even make it to the start line.

Tuesday, my knee began to feel somewhat better, but I began feeling sensations in the soles of my feet, particularly the left one. Sometimes it felt tight, sometimes I felt pins-and-needles, and the most disconcerting of all: sometimes it felt cold. My brilliant, supportive husband suggested that maybe my feet were just... cold. I gave that some consideration, then decided I had a compressed nerve, plantar fasciitis and some sort of weird foot affliction nobody has even heard of yet.

I may have freaked out a little. Yeah, a little. Okay, a lot. I would compare it to Taper Madness in intensity of fear. UGH!

I wasn't sure which of my workouts this week, IF ANY, I would be able to do. So, what do I do when faced with uncertainty? I make a plan. I would try swimming. If it hurt my knee to kick in the pool, I would swim with the pull buoy (a hard styrofoam floaty device you put between your legs to make your lower half float while you swim with just your arms). I'm pleased to report that I had NO pain swimming, so swim workouts were off the chopping block.

Next: Biking. I had an hour-long trainer ride planned for Tuesday evening. I told myself I'd start easy and just see how I felt. I'd increase speed/resistance very slowly, and at the first hint of pain, I would stop and stretch. If it still hurt when I started again, I would quit the workout. One trainer ride does not mean much in the grand scheme of things; I'm not going to risk injury for one ride.

Luckily, the bike ride went much better than I had anticipated. I had no pain, just some slight discomfort. I was aware of my knee, but it didn't hurt. I was able to complete the workout.

Finally: Running. Wednesday is my weekly long run. Despite not having any knee pain at all during the day, I was not optimistic that I'd be able to complete the run pain-free. I had 10.6 miles scheduled, and with bad weather blowing in, I did it on the treadmill. Again, I told myself that if I had any pain, I would stop. I STILL cannot believe that I had NOT ONE IOTA of pain or discomfort in that knee. Sure, other things ached, as you would expect on a two-hour slow run on a treadmill, but otherwise, I felt great. I stopped often to do my Dr Awesome stretches. Sometimes it's frustrating to have to take the time to stretch that often; it makes an hour and forty-five minute run last over two hours. But I'd rather take that time to stretch than be injured and not get to run at all.

Thursday's trainer ride was pain-free, discomfort-free, and downright unremarkable. I started to relax and believe the crazy was over. But then - DUHN DUHN DUHNNNNNN..... I had my Dr Awesome appointment Friday morning.

He worked on the usual gang of suspects (knee/ITB/adductors/hip flexors). Then he spent some time on my feet. Guess what? I got some MORE stretches to do! Yee-haaaw! He agrees that we are ahead of any "injury" right now, but I need to stay on top of it before it turns into plantar fasciitis.

So, that's where I am right now: physically on the edge, and mentally (sometimes) over the edge. I oscillate between relaxed/confident and scared shitless/crazy. I've made a slight amendment to my mantra:

I will stick to the plan but adjust when necessary.
I will do the work.
I will be patient.
The results will come.