Gotta Get My Head Screwed On Right

I'm about to head out for a 50ish mile ride. I'm leading a small group today, so I've mapped out a route. I wanted to explore Devil's Backbone (how can you resist a road with a name like that?) but I think it would be prudent to make this a two-loop ride today. Various body parts aren't 100% and I will have to stop if things get bad. So Devil's Backbone will have to wait until another day.

I'm scared, nervous, frustrated, and a little depressed, but trying to think positively. Maybe I will have a great ride and all the body parts will feel good. I'm sure the sunshine and fresh air will help (even though that air is only 42 degrees right now).

I guess this is what's called "a rough patch." I understand that this whole Ironman training journey is really just a big experiment. I'm trying to do everything right and be smart but it's pretty hard sometimes to know what the right answer is.

This all boils down to the reason I signed up to do this race: I want to see what happens, how I react, when I reach those low points. I just always pictured those low points being during the actual race; I didn't realize they would come during training too.

I've trained for other endurance events, had setbacks, feared that injuries would occur and not heal, all those things that everyone experiences. So why is this any different? JC just asked me that question. The sad answer is, I guess there are parts of me that don't think I have what it takes to do this. There. I said it.

I know I'm a determined person. That tenacity gets me through a lot. But it doesn't solve all the problems, doesn't help the body heal and recover, etc.

I guess I have much to learn. ALWAYS WITH THE DAMN LEARNING.