The Verdict

After writing yesterday's blog post, it became pretty clear to me what my desires are for 2014. Sometimes just writing everything down - whether it be in an email, a blog update, or a detailed spreadsheet with weighted and color-coded pros and cons - clarifies how I feel about something. Having everything laid out in black and white helps me relax the mind enough to listen to the gut.

By the time I got in bed, I was 98% certain of my choice; when I awoke this morning, I felt at peace with my decision, excited about the coming year and all of its challenges, and confident that I will be happy with my decision a year from now and beyond.

I am happy to announce I am NOT racing Ironman Chattanooga in 2014!

(The whole world can exhale now! Everyone can go on with their lives! ha ha)

As much fun as it would be, I can tell my desire is just not high enough to get the job done. When you're in the middle of training and you're tired, worn down, pushed to your limit with training and planning and showering and laundry and everything else and you hardly ever see your husband or your kid and almost never see your mom or your sister and niece and you forget to pay the water bill and you start to wonder why the hell am I doing this?, that desire needs to be there to pull you through. I suspect I will have that desire again in the future, but I certainly don't have it now.

Boy, is my mom going to be happy to read this! She texted me 6 times before I even got out of bed this morning (that's the equivalent of spitting out her coffee in alarm). Apparently she did not fix her coffee before reading the blog post, but everything else, I got right: she doesn't want me to do it, but she would support me if I did. How awesome is that?!?

So, what will I do in 2014 instead of an Ironman? Lots of awesome things:

• Charleston Half Marathon in January with my friends whom I don't get to see often enough
• Asheville Marathon at the Biltmore in March with my husband with whom I don't get to run often enough
• A full season of duathlons in NC, SC and GA (and maybe AL and AZ... We'll see...)
• The local sprint triathlons
• An organized bike ride or two
• Volunteer at Ironman Chattanooga so I can cheer on all my friends!

Plus the usual stuff: lots of traveling for work, a few concerts with the South Carolina Philharmonic, an actual family vacation to DC, and... oh yeah... I will probably pay all my bills on time.

Also, I'll turn 40. How hard could that be?

Thanks, friends, for your advice and perspective. I look forward to supporting all of you on your road to Chatty and partying with you at the finish line.

Then, in 2015: CHOO-CHOO!

Decision Time

At some point in the middle of the night, this post will be delivered to my mom's e-mail inbox. When she awakens tomorrow, she'll probably fix herself a cup of coffee, sit down on the sofa with her laptop, and open her email.

At this point, she's wondering, "Uh-oh. Why is Jen writing about me? I don't get it."

And when she finds out why I'm writing this, she'll probably spit out her coffee, open her eyes wide, and shriek, "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"

So, what is the point? What could be so surprising or alarming or exciting?

It's this: I think I want to race Ironman Chattanooga next year.

I know, Mom. I know I know I know.

The inaugural Ironman Chattanooga is scheduled for late September 2014. I strongly want to do this race, for several reasons:

• It's a relatively short drive away.
• The course looks awesome.
• There won't be a heat index of 100 degrees like we had in Texas.

However, a good-sized part of me does not want to do another full in 2014. My plan (before they announced the location) was to volunteer at the new southeast US Ironman in 2014, let them work out the kinks that inevitably accompany a first-year race, then race it in 2015.

So why the change? Why don't I want to wait until 2015?

There is a large contingent from this area signing up to race it in 2014. There will be many opportunities to train with a group, lots of moral support and camaraderie, and one hell of a party in Chattanooga. I did my training for IMTX alone (I'm grateful that my friend Ray joined me for the second half of many long rides), and although that enabled me to stick to my own workouts and paces and heartrate zones, it was tough. I want to know what it would be like to experience Ironman training and racing with friends, and this might be my only opportunity. Not to mention, if I don't sign up this year, it's going to be a loooooong year of being jealous of everyone else's workouts and fellowship. I will greatly miss out. I might have to suspend my Facebook account for the year just so I don't have to see what a great time everyone is having training for Ironman Chattanooga.

So, why not go for it? What is keeping me from jumping in head-first for 2014?

Well....

First of all, I don't think that level of training is good for me. I could see doing it every once in a while, but certainly not every year. It could be argued that major endurance events damage you physically, the ramifications of which won't be seen until 20 years down the road (yes, there are studies, and yes, I can email you the links if you want to read them). Of course, you could also argue that athletes who have completed multiple Ironman races are healthier than 99% of the population. But we're talking about a sample size of one: Me. And for me, constant long-distance training is not good.

Secondly, I currently have no desire to strike out on 4- to 8-hour workouts or to spend Friday evenings prepping my fuel for Saturday long rides or to fork out a small fortune on regular massage and PT. I am LOVING my short workouts for Oly training. I LOVE that I have time to spend with Jeff and Sophie and the energy to do yard work and the money to fix some things around the house. I LOVE that when my workouts are less than three hours, the extra body fat comes off and the muscles get bigger and I feel strong and healthy. I LOVE that I'm getting a little speed back (very little and very slowly, but I will do the work and I will be patient and the results will come). I am not ready to jump back into Ironman training; but, training technically wouldn't begin until early April, and who knows? I might be ready by then.

Thirdly, I really enjoyed the duathlon I did last month. Really, really, really enjoyed it. I want to do more of those. And not as one-offs, but as goal races. I can see myself having a whole 2014 season of duathlons. Thinking about it excites me. It's a new goal with new information to learn and new workouts to try and new people to meet. And I wanna go fast.

Furthermore, Ironman training and racing is expensive. That's money we could be spending on other things, like Sophie's piano lessons, Jeff's tri bike, Jeff's new car, and the coach I want to hire. Also, I wouldn't hate it if I got race wheels.

Jeff gave me the go-ahead to do it before I even finished the sentence, "They announced that the new Ironman will be in Chattanooga!" Sophie told me she doesn't care, as long as she gets to come to Tennessee with us for the race. I have a feeling my mom will say, "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DO ANOTHER IRONMAN!"

I could go on, I'm sure, in support of both sides of the coin. I've been mulling this over, changing my mind back and forth and back again, since they announced the race a couple of weeks ago.

And now decision time is here.

For undisclosed reasons, I have to make my decision by tomorrow.

I am certain I will make the right choice, because no matter what I decide, I will make the best of it. I'm also certain that I will have regrets with either choice, because there is sacrifice either way.

So, I will sleep on it. I must say, writing this has helped a lot, and I think I know which way I'm leaning. But I will give it a good sleep and go with my gut and everything will be alright.

And if it's not, I reserve the right to bitch about it constantly for the next year.

Playing Catch-Up

I have lots of catching up to do. Life has been busy and I just haven't had time to write it all down.

I raced the duathlon last month and LOVED IT. I love to run, so a race where I get to run TWICE is double the fun. There were only 7 females, so for the first (and possibly only) time in my life, I won.

I always wondered what it would feel like to win a race. Although it was exciting, it wasn't very satisfying, as my performance was not my best. I did my best for that day but I'm still quite far behind where I was a year ago as far as speed is concerned. And when I tried to sprint to the finish, there was no extra gear left in my legs. My mind said "GO!" and my legs said "La la la la - We can't hear you!" What a strange feeling!

Ideally, one would want a satisfying performance AND a win. But if I had to choose one or the other, I'd probably choose the strong performance. Well... depending on who I was racing. I don't know. Maybe I'll just have to go after both.

Since the duathlon, I've begun training for my next goal race: The Pinehurst International Triathlon in October. I'm doing another Dave Scott training plan, and as usual, he's kicking my ass. I love it. I'm so glad to be finally working on speed again and to have some structure to my training. I have a few sprints before that race but I'll just treat them as training days.

I raced the Greenville Sprint Triathlon a couple weeks ago. It was my first time doing that race and the course is wonderful. It wasn't an "A" race for me so I decided to experiment with some different things. I swam the swim at an easy pace, walked to my bike in transition, and walked slowly to the mount line for the bike leg. This was intentional, to remind myself that I was not racing. I held back a bit on the bike leg to keep my heartrate under a certain number, but was able to enjoy a game of cat-and-mouse with a 62-year-old man right until we dismounted. I hurried through T2 then ran a steady run, again keeping the heartrate down. It was hard to go do a race where I wasn't trying to go fast, but I got out of it what I needed.

For the past 3 weeks, I've cleaned up my food intake: very little gluten, dairy, sugar, or processed foods. I'm working on gaining muscle and losing fat (I can tell it's working because my quads are growing and my breasts are shrinking) but the added benefits are more energy, better sleep, and clearer lungs.

Speaking of clearer lungs, today I took the last dose of the steroid I've been on for 4 months for my lungs. Now we wait and see if my lungs continue to cooperate. Going into fall allergy season, this will be a challenge, but I'm feeling optimistic, especially because I'm eating well. Food choices seem to have had a moderate impact on my symptoms.

Earlier this week, I had a terrible run. Awful. Just bad, rough, crappy, and not good at all. It was about 12 hours after a tough bike ride with lots of hill reps, and my quads felt pretty shredded. The run was supposed to be at race pace (whatever that is...) but I couldn't hold it more than 2 miles. I haven't had a run that bad in about a year.

I view this as good news, because I believe that a "bad run" always precedes a breakthrough. I think my body is adjusting to the increase in training intensity and will bounce back a little stronger and faster. Progress is imminent!

I also had the worst swim in year. It was my first time in the water in 10 days, and it was as if I had never done freestyle before. Flailing limbs, multiple snorts of water, sloppy drills - nothing went right. Forget how slow I was - it just plain old felt bad. Even when I'm slow, I usually enjoy being in the water, but this was brutal. But rather than signaling a swim breakthrough, it really points to a lack of consistent swim training. I have renewed my commitment to get in the water more often.

There are a few mantras I use to get through these tough patches of training. Usually one or the other gets me back on track:

 

I will do the work and I will be patient and the results will come.
(I enjoy doing the work; it's the being patient that is so damn hard.)

 

This too shall pass.

(Whether it's going well or really sucking, it will change soon.)

 

HTFU

(For when it's not getting better fast enough.)

Feel free to use these as needed. They work well at the office too.

Adjusting

Life has become very busy. The months when I was able to train for an Ironman seem like a past life. Now I'm struggling to get 6 hours of exercise per week.

Side note: Even two years ago, I never would've believed that exercising 6 hours per week was possible for me, let alone that I would consider that a "down" week. It's all about perspective, isn't it?

Work is creating changes in my life right now. I have a couple of projects underway, one of which is nearing completion after two years and is creating a good deal of stress on my part with deadlines and questions and such. I'm surprised by how much energy I use just thinking all day. I'm also traveling more, which I like on many levels, but it makes having a routine a thing of the past.

I've given up on following any type of schedule, and am just fitting in workouts as I can. I'm only biking and running these days. I need to get some swims in, and soon... I have 4 tris coming up and I believe they all include a swim leg. Oy vey.

I did have a FANTASTIC swim lesson with a local tri guru a few weeks ago. He analyzed my stroke and gave me pointers and drills to help correct my issues. I had lots of issues. He tried really hard to find positive things to say about my swim. When words failed him, I suggested that my fat ass helps keep my lower body near the water's surface, which is a plus. He agreed. Winning!

Anyway, I've juggled types of workouts based on the time I have for a workout and how I feel that day. Feeling good? Tempo run. Legs tired? Recovery spin. Hard day at work? Hill reps on the bike or run. Can't make up my mind? Time to do a brick! And eventually, usually once or twice a week, life forces a rest day. So, it all works out.

I'm making the best of the situation while trying to keep my energy levels up for work and home life. It really seems to be working well, except I'm not getting any runs longer than an hour, and I've only ridden outside about twice a month (and lately, not over 90 minutes).

I think I've finally reached a point where I no longer think of how much fitness I've lost since the Ironman and instead think of how much time and flexibility and energy I've gained. I'm happy to be doing speedwork again (FINALLY) although I have a looooooong way to go to get back to where I was a year ago. For now, I'm enjoying the process and focusing on being healthy and well-balanced.

The only real issue I have right now is my lung situation. I'm beginning my fifth and final month of steroid treatment for asthma. I believe the meds have helped, and I hope the effects last. I'm still using the rescue inhaler, and more regularly than I'd like. It seems I got a good bit better, but have flare-ups triggered by allergies and humidity. Good thing it's not very humid around here....ha ha. (I ran in 100% humidity one morning last week. It was a short easy run, and my airways handled it well; not sure how I would've felt if I'd added intensity, which also is a trigger for me.) Overall, the asthma is worse than it was a year ago, but better than it was four months ago... So, who knows what will happen.

This weekend, I'll be racing my first duathlon. I'm excited about trying something new! I don't expect to do very well, as I don't have much speed at this point, but I'm going to give it my best, and have fun too. A race where I get to run twice? Awesome!

(Everyone, say it with me: How hard could it be?)

Tri the Midlands: Short Race, Long Race Report

I was on the fence about doing TTM this year, but decided I should do it because it would be good practice for transitions and be a great high-intensity workout. I knew I would be slower than last year, since I haven't done much speedwork or ANY hills reps yet this season.

I wasn't very excited about doing the race, but I wasn't nervous either. I registered on site on race morning - that was an odd experience because it added more "things to do" to an already hectic pre-race routine. I didn't even know what time my wave would go off - and didn't really care! I figured I'd just follow all the other women with my color of swim cap.



Members of the NW YMCA Tri Club before the race. Great people!

The day before the race, I read my TTM race reports from the last two years to re-familiarize myself with the race mentally and see what suggestions I had made for myself for next time. (Key notes included, "Don't ever do this race again because the run is awful and it's a zillion degrees," as well as, "Beat Alex McDonald," but that wasn't helpful, since he wasn't racing this year. Something about running out of XXL swim caps...)

One big question mark about the race was how my lungs would react. Overall, they've been much better, but humidity seems to be my biggest asthma trigger. I have to find a way to deal with this if I want to continue racing. And by "deal" I mean "make it not happen anymore."

I started the swim and felt okay, even though the TTM age group swim start is pretty violent compared to other races. It was the same way last year (I'm glad I had noted this in last year's race report). It's just a lot of bodies crammed into a narrow starting area. I sometimes wait 7 or 8 seconds before starting the swim to give myself room, but this year I went when the buzzer sounded. I started toward the back of the pack. I didn't get kicked, I just got swum over and bumped into, and I kept swimming into a girl doing backstroke. She did backstroke faster than I could do freestyle. Sigh.

I swam in a pretty straight line - at least, better than previous years.

Yes, this is "pretty straight" for me and very much "better than previous years."

I kept bumping into backstroke girl, and sometimes I would get a good mouthful of water. That doesn't bother me much mentally, but physically I must've been swallowing air like I do a lot... and I hadn't taken a Gas-X like I sometimes do to help with the bloating during the swim. I'd been aware of the sound of my breathing, and although I felt I could breathe fine, it sounded a little raspy. I just made a mental note and carried on.

I rounded the second turn buoy and started the third and final leg of the swim. I was feeling pretty good, swimming comfortably and focusing on form. About 100yds from the finish, I felt my throat get tight. It felt like I'd swallowed an egg whole and it had lodged in my throat. I was fairly certain it was an air bubble that couldn't find its way out, but I wondered if it was my airway closing up. I looked around for a boat and there was one nearby. I thought, if I'm having an asthma attack, I'll have to wave to the boat and climb aboard, and somehow get to T1 and grab my inhaler (which I had already used before the race). Then I'll take more puffs, which will make my heart race. And I might OD. I felt the panic surge through my entire body - legs felt like jelly, arms got weak, head was swimming, heart was racing. I had maybe 75yards to go, and I had to decide whether to just keep going or to wave for help. I thought it might just be an air bubble and anxiety, but then thought I might die that way because it really was asthma. I decided to keep swimming and reassess when I got to shore. I also decided that triathlons/races aren't good for me anymore.

Relieved to have not died.

 

I survived the swim. My swim time was MUCH slower than last year. Like, three minutes slower. And I was slow last year! Unbelievable.

Usually on the bike leg, my plan is to start easy for 5 minutes to get my heartrate down from T1, then take off. But I didn't - I went fairly hard from the get-go. At least, I was working hard, but I wasn't going very fast. I should've done my usual plan. Learning experience! Ding ding!

A few miles into the bike, I was working hard and breathing hard, and with every deep breath I thought I felt my heart skip. I tried to tell myself it was an air bubble... my stomach was bloated and upset from the air I swallowed on the swim - but it really freaked me out. But I just kept on going. I felt like I had dueling personalities: On one shoulder was the Angel of Reassurance: "You're strong and healthy. You just did an Ironman, for God's sake." On the other shoulder was the Asshole of Anxiety: "Yeah, you just did  an Ironman, which is terrible for you and damaged your heart and caused inflammation and YOU ARE GOING TO DIE." I punched the asshole in the throat and kept going.

Usually on that course I fall apart on the last 3 miles of the bike leg, but for once, I felt strong and really killed those last 3 miles. "Really killed" means "didn't want to puke or quit and I passed several people and NOBODY PASSED ME." My overall bike time was slower than last year's, as I thought it might be - but I felt like I went fast! Sigh. At least only one female passed me during the bike leg, and I passed a good number of people.

At T2 I started to run out without my race number. Doh! I ran back for it then took off. I made myself slow down because in my race report last year, I noted I ran too fast out of transition and up that first hill and paid for it later. So this year, I shuffled uphill slowly and made the left turn into the rolling section.

As I approached The Hill on mile 2, I saw my friend Ken in front of me. I was tired and was trying to come up with a walk/run strategy for the hill. Of course, I should've done that before the race... Anyway, I caught up with Ken (who looked REALLY strong and had a great race) and asked him what his plan for the hill was. He said, "Run up it." Dammit!. So I ran up it with him. I really, really wanted to walk! The only times I walked were the water stops. There were 3 water stops on the run and I walked all of them! On a sprint! Wow.

One of the greatest things about this race is seeing all your friends during the out and back run leg. On my way out, I tried to shout encouragement to everyone that was on their way back. Of course, I really wanted be on my way back at that point... Anyway, this was my first race as a member of the Cycle Center Tri Team, and it was FANTASTIC to race with my teammates. I wish I had better words to describe it.

I had figured I'd finish in the bottom third of my age group, but ended up with 5th, even though I was 4 minutes slower overall than last year. Of course, AG placement is mostly about who shows up that day - and that's out of my control. Some of the usual suspects weren't there; had they been, I definitely would've finished lower.

My run was only 4 seconds slower than last year, but last year was way hotter, so comparatively, I was much stronger then. On the bright side, I didn't do as poorly as I'd thought I would. But getting slower is awful, and I did not enjoy much of the race because of my fears.

Jeff & Sophie came to see the race, and Ken pulled me up The Hill

After the race, I didn't bounce back to normal as quickly as I usually do. JC and Sophie were there, and they walked around with me. Even after 10 minutes I still felt pretty shitty. I told Jeff that and he reminded me that you're supposed to feel shitty after a race (but usually for me it doesn't last that long). It took a while, but I finally got back to mostly normal. EXCEPT I got The Headache.

The Headache is the post-exercise headache that puts me out of commission for 24 hours. I warmed up slowly and thoroughly, I hydrated well, I took plenty of electrolytes, I took in proper fuel before, during and afterward, I didn't overheat, I cooled down almost immediately after the race... This is just so frustrating. I got through 6 months of Ironman training and over 16 hours of a very hot Ironman without getting The Headache. Then in one 90 minute race, I'm knocked on my ass again. The only variable that's different is intensity. I will have to keep an eye on this and see if high-intensity exercise is the culprit. If it is, then I'll have to decide if racing or even doing speedwork is worth it.

Anyway, that's everything. I'm sorry if you read through this entire report; I really just wanted to get it all out for myself, so I could reflect back on it later (before next year's TTM, when I will surely DOMINATE it, for a change). As frustrating as this race was this year, I've found several nuggets of goodness: I had a "fairly straight" swim, I had negative splits/appropriately increasing intensity on the bike & run legs, I overcame the anxiety (or at least I didn't let it stop me), and I thoroughly enjoyed racing with so many friends and teammates.

My next race is in 4 weeks: the Tom Hoskins Memorial Triathlon. But in a crazy turn of events, I'm not doing the tri. I signed up for the duathlon! Since making this decision to try something new, I'm excited and motivated again. I really want to do well, and I really want to not be afraid of dying. How hard could it be?

Accountability

Six weeks.

It's been six weeks since I won dominated finished conquered Ironman Texas. I took two weeks completely off from exercise, and waited another week before running. Since then, I've been floundering.

I haven't had the post-Ironman blues and I haven't felt tired or worn down. As a matter of fact, for most of the past six weeks, I've felt better than I ever have in my life: full of energy, mentally alert, and hardly cranky at all.

I've just had a hard time getting back into a groove. I've been swimming only once per week. (Strangely enough, my swimming is getting slower. Who knew?!?)

I don't have another "big" goal for this season. I would have loved to race Augusta 70.3 again, but a work obligation will put me in Chicago that weekend. I'm incredibly jealous of everyone who is racing it this year. And it seems like EVERYONE is racing it. Except me. <insert pity party here>

I have a handful of sprints on the schedule and one Olympic race (Pinehurst International in early October - come join in the fun!). I had wanted to use my huge base to springboard into strength, power and speed training, so I could get much faster for these short races. Three weeks ago I laid out my training plan for two weeks and tried to get going again. I only completed about two-thirds of the workouts (only one-third of the swims). This past week, I didn't even plan anything. I just winged it.

Part of it is that life is getting in the way. Life and work. And I'm not motivated enough right now to make it happen despite the challenges. For example, I had planned to swim at the Y pool yesterday between work & our tri club meeting. I arrived at the pool with all my swim toys - cap, goggles, paddles, tennis balls, pull buoy - to find approximately four hundred thousand kids in it for a swim meet. Pool closed! So I went to the store to stock up on bananas and figured I'd just swim after the meeting. Not ideal, but not terrible.

Fast forward to 8pm, when the meeting was over. The pool was still swarming with pint-size swimmers having their meet, which, I finally saw on the poster in the lobby, wouldn't be over until 8:30pm. Let's see - sit around for 30 minutes, get in the pool at 8:35, out at 9:20, showered & dressed by 9:40, home at 10:10.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

You know what? I'm not training for an Ironman anymore, so if I don't want to exercise after 8pm, I don't have to. That seems reasonable, yes. Except, the problem is, I've had what I consider a "fairly good reason" to miss a workout most days this week. Since Tri the Midlands last Saturday (I'll write more about that race in a later post), I have done one workout. One. It's now 10pm on Friday evening.

So, looking ahead, my next race - the Tom Hoskins Memorial Sprint Triathlon - is four weeks away. This was the first tri I ever did, and every year I go back to see how far I've come. Last year was the first time I placed, and dammit, I want to again. I had wanted to be working on speed right now so I could have a strong race. But instead, I've been slacking. Unless a miracle occurs, I don't see myself bringing home the coveted coffee cup this year.

I do have a purpose for writing this. Last December, I noted in this blog how hard it was for me to get up and do workouts before work. I posted my results each day to hold myself accountable for getting those early workouts done. Looking forward to posting about my success (or fearing having to post about my failure) helped get my ass out of bed and into whatever type of spandex that morning's workout required.

I've decided to use the blog as a motivator again - but I need your help. Over the next few days, I'm going to outline my goals - both short-term and for the rest of the season - then lay out my plan. As the days and weeks tick by, I'll post my progress and my shortcomings. When I fail to step up, I want you to call me out. If I slack, if I take the easy way out, if I can't get my ass out of bed: Let me have it. Shame me. Lay on the guilt. Trust me - there's nothing you can say that will be worse than what I'm telling myself. Together, we can get this train back on track.

And if this works, maybe I'll let you borrow my awesome new coffee cup.

Not a Race Report

I have A LOT of catching up to do. There is so much to write/say about Ironman Texas, it will probably take me a month's worth of blog posts to get it all out. But there are a few things I need to get off my chest right away:

#1: I AM AN IRONMAN.
Actually, I feel like kind of a poser. Sure, I finished, but I have such mixed emotions about it. I went SO FREAKING SLOWLY to make sure I didn't overheat. I spun easy on the bike the WHOLE TIME and I walked about two thirds of the marathon. This is not what I had practiced, planned for, envisioned, or wanted. I feel so unfulfilled.

Yet, I'm extremely grateful that I generally felt well the entire race. So many people were puking, bonking, overheating, passing out - you name it. It was one of my main goals to do the race smartly, and I nailed it. I freaking nailed it. But I'm left wondering - could I have pushed harder on the bike and still finished strongly? Could I have run more and still felt well? I won't ever have answers to these questions.

#2: MY HUSBAND IS AWESOME.
After spending the last 5-6 months training and ignoring a lot of things at home (sorry about forgetting to pay the water bill in February...), it was MARVELOUS to spend 8 days with Jeff. The days leading up to race day were an emotional roller coaster, and he was my rock. He never complained, always said "yes" to my requests ("Will you just walk the mile and a half to the swim practice with me early in the morning, stand around holding my shit whilst I swim, then walk back with me?"), and kept me calm when I needed it most.

I am unbelievably glad we were able to experience IMTX week together.

I also want to mention he had a certain gleam in his eye. He mentioned several times how he kind of wished he were doing it, and maybe he'd do an Ironman one day. He always said he was kidding, but I saw something in there. (Yes, he is the same guy who, upon finishing the Charleston Sprint Tri, said, "Y'all can have this shit.")

I'm really looking forward to supporting him in his next endeavors. I have so much to give back. I love you, schmoops. <3

#3: I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT MY MOM.
This topic is really worthy of a full post, and I'll get to that one day. I just want to say that having my mom on my team was essential to my success, both in training and on race day. During low points on the run, when I was having one of those periods of feeling shitty, I talked to her in my head: "Mom, I'm doing everything we talked about. I'm hydrating properly (read: enough but not too much), I'm electrolyting the f*ck out of myself, I'm taking in fuel appropriately, my heartrate is low, I'm lucid, I'm not nauseated, I'm doing the best I can." And in my head, she would reply: "Jen, you can do it. You trained for this. You're strong and healthy. You can do it."

I know she was a nervous wreck about me doing an Ironman. When I first told her last summer that I had signed up to do Ironman Texas, her response (with huge eyes) was, "WHAT?!?! WHY???" As physical issues cropped up this spring (screw you, asthma), she was an integral part of my plan for treatment. She helped me research the meds I had to begin taking, and recommended I make adjustments with my electrolyte intake, because of the medication's effect on potassium. She came over to my house after the early March workout/electrolyte imbalance episode that instigated my two-week-long Ironman Freak-Out; she examined me, reassured me, and, yes, implored me to stop this craziness called Ironman training. Yet she still helped me as I continued, despite her own fears.

During long rides I did alone, I would text her periodically to let her know where I was and that I was okay. On one ride early in my training, she even drove out into the middle of nowhere to look for me and make sure I was okay. On the last long ride I did, just a few weeks ago, in the cold rain with a rubbing rear brake and my really bad attitude, she texted me encouragement: "You can do it. You're so close to your goal. Don't give up now," even though I know she was thinking, "Jen, you've already done so much. Do you really need to do this crazy race?"

Yeah, I did need to do it. Thanks, Mom, for all your help, your brains, your love, your strength. I love you. <3

#4: EVERYONE ON MY SUPPORT TEAM IS AMAZING.
Throughout training and race day, I always felt like I had a team of people sending me encouragement. Some were already Ironmen, some were accomplished athletes in other disciplines, some were friends, some were relatives, some were professionals who worked on me - my muscles, my joints, my lungs - some were fellow athletes training for IMTX whom I had never met but reached out to me on Facebook to give encouragement... There were so many people on my team.

During the swim, I thought about every one of you. I thanked you over and over with each stroke. For the entire race, I felt like we were out there together. In T2, when I decided I didn't really want to be an Ironman, and frankly, I didn't even want to hear that word ever again, it was the thought of everyone on my team that got me out of the changing tent and onto the course. With everything you have given me, I couldn't let you down.

Thank you for being there for me, with me, in my head and my heart. You guys are AWESOME.

#5: I MET THREE AND A HALF GOALS.
I had posted my 5 goals for this race, and noted that achieving the top three would constitute a 100%successful race. Here is the outcome:

Don't die. CHECK!

Finish. CHECK!

Don't shit or vomit on myself. CHECK! (Nor did I shit or vomit on anyone else! Bonus!)

Perform at the level of ability for which I trained.
This is where it gets muddy. I know, I understand, I accept that there are challenges in every Ironman race. But when you're training, you're always envisioning what you think you could do. What would my perfect race have looked like, time-wise?

I think I could have done this:
Swim: 1:40
Bike: 6:45
Run: 4:50
Transitions: 25 minutes
Total: 13:40

Instead, I did this:
Swim: 1:48 (Happy with this)
Bike: 7:34 (I stopped to pee every hour and fifteen minutes, plus stopped at most aid stations to get ice; I think my actual moving time was around 7 hours)
Run: 6:27 (As a runner, this is the part I'm struggling with the most. I could have run more. I chose to walk most of the second loop and talk to Dan from Canada, who was puking and couldn't keep any calories in. I enjoyed that lap. I'm struggling with the fact that I enjoyed it instead of pushing myself.)
Transitions: 47 minutes (Yes, you read that right. I spent 47 minutes sitting, dressing, resting, being confused, talking to others... It didn't seem like that long, but damn, this is AWFUL.)
Total: 16:37

Win. Well, not this time.

Now, I know the numbers don't tell the whole story. The story includes things like temps in the mid-90s, full sun, winds on the bike (which I'm used to and had planned for), polluted air (both from the haze of Houston and the smoke blowing in from Mexico) which jacked up my lungs a good bit, and a PMS headache for the entire day. But that's all part of doing an Ironman. There is no "perfect race" - only smart and strong performances. Mine was smart - but strong, I'm not so sure.

You know what they call the person who graduates from med school at the bottom of his class?
Doctor.

You know what they call the person who finishes an Ironman in 16:37?
Ironman.

I. AM. AN. IRONMAN.

Goals.

I will catch up on the last two weeks soon...

But first, I wanted to write down my goals for Ironman Texas. I have five concrete goals, and I have prioritized them from most to least important.


#1: Don't die.

#2: Finish.

#3: Don't vomit or shit on myself.

#4: Perform at the level of ability for which I trained.

#5: WIN!


If I accomplish 1-3, this endeavor will be a 100% success. I'm gunning for the top 4, really, but those first three are paramount. And if 2,000 other people have a really, really bad day, I will snag #5.

How freaking hard could it be?

Today Is The Day!

I wanted to write a long post about all the happenings of the past week. It was week 2 of the 3-week Peak Phase and it went well. I finished it feeling strong and ready to take on THE Peak Week (which is happening RIGHT NOW!!!!).

I wanted to write about my awesome friends who participated in the TryCharleston Relay, who got up at 5am and stood in the pouring rain when it was 53 degrees, in the dark, just to cheer on the swimmers on their teams – even though we swimmers could neither hear nor see them whilst swimming.

I thought I’d mention that I enjoyed my relay swim immensely, so much so that I swam extra slowly so I could enjoy it longer. Yeah, that’s why I’m slow.

I wanted to write about my relay teammates and competitors who pushed themselves hard during their bikes and runs even though they knew they weren’t going to win anything.

I wanted to write about my friend who, when he discovered an hour before setting up for the half-iron distance race that he had brought cycling shoes without cleats and would have to pedal 56 miles on Speedplay lollipop pedals in his running shoes, said “It’s alright. No biggie. I could’ve been born without legs. This is nothing. It’s all about the journey.” Then crushed a 5:09 overall with a monster bike split. (Note to self: Be like him.)

I wanted to write about how hard it is to stick to your training plan and stay in your 16-17mph Zone 2 heartrate zone for a ride when everyone else is taking off and it’s a beautiful day and you want to chase them. Or how I screwed up my nutrition (not enough calories, carbs, electrolytes or fluid) on the bike ride because my stomach was upset for the first time on a ride in a long time.

 

I had considered mentioning the various body parts that ache or click or are numb or don’t feel quite right, but these things will hopefully heal during taper – if I can just survive until then – but I decided not to focus on the negative. Besides, everybody hurts, and nobody wants to hear about it!

I really, really wanted to write about how lucky I am to have married such a kind, loving, understanding man, who, when I mentioned I might want to race Augusta Half Ironman again but was afraid he wouldn’t want me to spend all that time training, said “I understand. It’s what you do. We’ll make it work.” (Not sure I'm going to race it, just glad to know I can.)

I wanted to write that I am ready. I am so ready to race Ironman Texas and I am totally going to win. Or maybe not win, but absolutely finish and enjoy it. I can do it. I know I can.

I wanted to… But I won’t.

Instead, I’m going to write about my doctor appointment this morning. (Aren’t you glad you’re reading this blog?) Five weeks ago, she told me I had asthma and prescribed an inhaler and a preventive medicine. I couldn’t tolerate the preventive meds so per her instructions I’ve just been using the inhaler. However, I haven’t used it regularly – just when I felt I needed it – and only half a dose at a time.

Today, she read me the riot act. She told me of a local surgical tech, a woman, who was about my age and in great shape, who didn’t have her asthma controlled and she died alone at home when she had an attack.

Then she had my other doctor, whom I love and trust, call me and tell me how she has permanent lung damage already because she didn’t use her meds regularly when she was in med school and thought she knew everything, and let her asthma go untreated (or poorly treated) for a while.

I told my doc I was afraid to take the whole dose because I might have an attack and need another dose – and I didn’t want to OD. So I would take one puff before exercise (half a dose) and carry the inhaler with me and use it if needed (second half of dose). Perfectly logical, right? Yes, I thought so too. Thank you. You are very smart.

She didn’t see it that way. She thinks I should take the full dose, regularly, as prescribed, so I can breathe, so I can avoid causing permanent damage to my lungs, so I can not die. Then – get this – she prescribed more meds!

Here I am, three weeks and four days before Ironman Texas, and I’m starting a new medication. Steroids. And these steroids won’t even make me recover faster or get bigger muscles. They will, however, help me breathe – and she mentioned that breathing might come in handy for swimming, biking, running, and also just living.

In order to get even with her, I cried. I cried and cried right there in her office. I cried while we talked, I cried while I had an EKG (results were normal - hooray!), I cried in between breaths into the lung function machine, I cried while I took the first dose of steroid, I cried while they drew blood for labs (but I still watched, because seeing your own blood pouring out of your body - when controlled and on purpose - is really fascinating).

Today is the day I accept that I am not a stunningly healthy 23 year old. This cough and labored breathing are not “post-viral” or “just allergies” and they are not going to magically go away. I finally believe and accept that I am 39 and one-twelfth years old and yes, I do indeed have adult-onset asthma. And yes, it can be a big deal. And yes, I need to take it seriously.

But, hey, I could’ve been born without legs. This is no biggie. All part of the journey.

  

PS – I hope I haven’t offended anyone who was actually born without legs. If I have, I give you permission to say, “Well, at least I didn't get asthma as an adult.”

Bib Numbers Posted!



SHIT JUST GOT REAL.



200 Mile Relay, Cold Swim, & Boston Marathon

It's hard to write this post. Today, at the 117th running of the Boston Marathon, multiple bombs exploded near the finish line, maiming dozens, injuring over a hundred, and killing at least three people. I don't even know what to say. It's hard to process it.

Tonight I ran 45 minutes and thought about the marathoners, their families and friends, the emergency personnel, the volunteers, and the race officials. I wish there were something I could do to help. The only thing I could think of was to run. It just seemed right.

Unfortunately, the run was painful. My calves, shins and ankles are still tight from the running I did Friday & Saturday in the Palmetto 200 Relay. I stopped to stretch at least 5 times. I got a little looser by the end, but not much. I see Dr. Awesome tomorrow, and I'm hoping he can work these kinks out.

The relay was a blast. I ran legs 1, 13 and 28. Leg #1 was about 5.6 miles and started at 1:30pm in full sun. It. Was. Hot. I carried a water bottle and needed it refilled halfway through. Although I was hot, I didn't overheat. I think I paced myself pretty well, saving some gas for the next two legs. Average pace: 8:50.

Leg #13 was only 4.2 miles. I ran it at 11pm through the forest. It was dark and I was alone. I was grateful to have our van pass by every once in a while. Running in the pitch dark felt like an out-of-body experience. It was pretty creepy. Average pace: 8:30.

Leg #28 was my favorite distance: 12k (7.4 miles). I ran at about 8am on 2 hours of sleep. Surprisingly, I felt fantastic. Since it was my last leg, I pushed pretty hard. I finally had my first two kills of the relay (a "kill" is when you pass a runner from another team; considering the events of today, I'm a bit embarrassed to use that word). I sprinted to the end and handed off the "baton" (a blue slap-bracelet) to JC and promptly had an asthma attack. It was the exact same feeling I had immediately after finishing the Augusta Half Ironman - like someone had stuffed wet sponges into my chest. I could breathe out just fine, but breathing in didn't seem to work. The good news is, I remained calm, and I had my inhaler with me, so I took a puff and walked around to let my heartrate come down gradually. I felt better very quickly. 

I'm kind of glad that happened. It was a good experiment to see how I would react and how well the inhaler would work. It gives me some reassurance that I can handle future attacks.

Other good news:

• My average pace for the final leg was 8:10, which A) is the fastest I've run since the Ray Tanner 12k last fall (7:45 pace), and B) was 20 seconds faster than the previous leg, on fatigued legs and very little sleep. My body feels strong.
• Our team (Columbia SC Marathon) came in third in the mixed division.
• I got to share the experience with my wonderful husband JC.
• I didn't have any "goose bumps" during my hot runs, which used to be a big problem for me in the heat.
• I didn't get the post-exercise headache that I used to get after hot or tough workouts. I think I've finally figured out the problem: I just wasn't taking in enough electrolytes, especially salt. I sweat very little, and am not a salty sweater at all; plus, I have to be careful with salt intake because it exacerbates a condition I have called Meniere's Syndrome. Too much salt triggers hearing disturbances and crippling vertigo. But I have increased my intake during exercise lately, and it seems to be doing the trick. 

Columbia SC Marathon team after finishing in just over 25 hours. These are really great people.

Sunday, I joined some friends for my first open-water swim of the season. Lake Murray's water temp was still around 60 degrees, but I gave it a go. It was.... interesting. First, it took me a long time to get my wetsuit on; somehow, the extra pounds I'm carrying have made me bigger. Who knew?!? 

I took my time getting into the water. It was quite cold, but it wasn't the most miserable experience ever. (Peeing in your wetsuit helps warm it up.) But putting my face in was a different story. I spent a few minutes putting in first my chin, then my right ear, then my left ear, then my nose... Eventually, my whole face made it in. It took my breath away!

I swam a few strokes, but the cold water made me feel disoriented and dizzy. I swam a total of 150
yards before getting out. I felt dizzy and icky (and a little drunk) for a few minutes, but it eventually passed. So, basically, I spent an hour to swim a total of 3 minutes. Kudos to the folks who actually got their swims done.

So, here we are in the second of three peak weeks. This week is a slight cut-back from last week - long run is only 14 miles, and long ride is only 4 hours - then it'll be THE peak week. I'm ready.

Later That Day...

You know how one day in soap opera world lasts 8 weeks in the real world? You could skip a month's worth of episodes, then when you tune in again, it's still later that same day? That's how I feel about the past two weeks, which is how long it's been since my last post. The freak-out phase was pretty recent, yet it feels like a lifetime ago. I am back to a normal level of sanity (about 90% sane, which is normal for me) and have started the three peak weeks of training.

Last week was a recovery week. I took an extra day of rest, as I felt pretty worn out and run down. By the weekend, I was full of energy and ready to get going again. (I even did the dishes. That is MAJOR.) Sunday, a group of us took a nice 50 mile ride through the countryside of Lexington, with a few glimpses of million-dollar homes on the lake. I call that a soul-cleansing ride.

I've spent a lot of time researching and calculating fuel, electrolytes and fluids for long rides. Sunday's 50 miler showed good improvement in fuel and electrolytes but I still fell short on the amount of fluid I took in. (I know this because I did a 3-hour ride and 30-minute run and didn't have to pee until I got home.) This trial and error system takes time, but I'm getting closer to the magic mixture.

This week, we have FINALLY had some warm weather. I've had two runs in the 80s so far, and yesterday I took the day off from work to get my long ride done in 80+ degrees. I rode 92+ miles (by far a distance PR!) and ran 3 miles. It was sunny all day with a steady breeze; that was good practice for Texas. I only had one rough patch on the ride - around miles 60-65. I just slowed down a little but and made sure I was on track with fueling. After a few minutes, I was back to normal.

A beautiful day for a ride.

By the time I got to the run (3pm), it was 85 degrees. It was pretty tough. I will definitely need to make sure I take in enough during the run in Texas. I kept thinking, "How the hell am I going to run a marathon in this weather after the bike ride?" (I don't yet know how I'm going to do it, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.) When I got tired of thinking about that, I started counting my steps. (Hey, whatever I have to do to take my mind off the discomfort...) I got to 1,406 steps before I lost my concentration.
 
The good news is, my new bike shorts felt GREAT. My saddle was comfy for 80 miles. The last 12 miles.... Well, I got out of the saddle a lot. I must remember to carry a single-serving ride glide with me.

The other good news is, I peed three times during that workout. (Oh, come on. If you know me, you know I'm going to talk about pee.) This tells me I hydrated enough. Yippee! Once I cooled down in the air conditioning after the run, I felt good. I still had energy, my legs were strong, my blood pressure was great, and my pee looked like lemonade. Perfect! I just need more workouts in the heat to acclimate so it won't affect me as much.

Today was technically a rest day, but Sophie asked me to go to walk/run with her before school, so I got a mile of running in. I don't think anyone under the age of 30 ever does a proper warm-up, and she's no exception. She took off so fast, it took me almost a quarter mile to catch up to her.

Today was also "Eat Like a Horse" day. I pretty much ate constantly from 6:15am until about 3pm, when my appetite was finally satisfied (at least for 2-3 hours). Two breakfasts, two lunches, two snacks and a protein smoothie was all it took. Don't worry - I was hungry again for dinner.

Tomorrow is the start of the Palmetto 200 Relay which is a 200 mile race from Columbia to Charleston. Jeff and I are on the Columbia SC Marathon team, which consists of 11 fast people and me. I will be the slowest person on the team by a long shot. They asked me to be on the team last fall, back when I had some speed in my legs. Now I'm slow slow slow. They said back then that we weren't aiming to be competitive, we would just do it for fun. Then we added two sub-3 hour marathoners to our team and suddenly our average pace is 7:06. Crap! I can't run anything near that right now! Anyway, I'm running three legs over 24 hours, totalling 17+ miles, so that will count as my long run for this week.

I am excited about the race, and a little nervous, as this is our first time doing a relay and I don't quite know what to expect. I just hope I pack the necessary items and don't screw anything up. (Note to team: DO NOT LET ME NAVIGATE. It will turn into the Palmetto 482-mile Relay from Columbia to Florence.) Whatever happens, there is fun to be had!

March Madness

Last week was a great week of training. My swims were decent and my long run (14 miles) was phenomenal. I finally incorporated walk breaks (45 seconds at the start of every mile), which actually made my overall goal pace faster, while still in Zone 2. When I was done, I felt like I still had another 3 miles in me.

I had 70-75 miles planned for Saturday's long ride, but the cold, rainy weather prompted me to ride the trainer instead. I rode for just over 4 hours, taking a 5 minute break every hour to get off the bike, stretch, pee, etc. During the second half of my ride, we watched "Bicycle Dreams," which I thought would inspire me. Instead it TOTALLY FREAKED ME OUT. These people were riding day and night without stopping, and sometimes they were delusional, and getting IVs and all sorts of things. That was NOT good for my psyche.

Also, since I hadn't needed to pee during last weekend's long workout, I thought I should drink more this time. So I did. A total of 5 bike bottles in 4 hours, 3 of which were plain water; the other two were Heed and Perpetuem. I also had Hammer gels with added Endurloytes powder, and a Cliff bar. I think I screwed that up - too much plain water, not enough sodium. I peed after 2 hours (great!) then again an hour later and again an hour later - too much!

Also, my lungs felt like they were filling up with moisture. I used the inhaler an hour into the ride (just half a dose), then again as soon as I was done (the other half of the dose).

After the ride, I ran 20 minutes around the neighborhood. My legs felt surprisingly good - the best they've felt on a brick lately. But my chest felt pretty full, and I started to freak out a bit. I'm pretty sure you need lungs for endurance sports.

I can't really explain what happened next. I just got more and more nervous, and then that lovely feeling of impending doom showed up: my first panic attack in years. Damn.

There was a time about 5 years ago or more when I had anxiety regularly. It was a miserable feeling, always being afraid. When you're going through something like that, you begin to fear that fear more than the things you're afraid of. (Okay, maybe that didn't make sense, but if you've ever experienced it, you understand.) I was scared of everything: physical ailments (some real, some not), dangers like 18-wheelers crossing the center line and running me over, all kinds of things that normally wouldn't bother me. It took a long time and a lot of work but the anxiety finally went away. I have not missed it.

Well, now it's back. I'm worried about Every. Single. Thing. I'm told everyone training for an Ironman goes through times when they don't think they can do it. I've had those moments off and on but have managed them pretty well... until now. The past few days have been extremely difficult. I think the anxiety that's a side effect from the inhaler is feeding into it too. Even though I know these things are in my head, they feel real to my body. I've really, really been wigging out. I even had to stop during my opening 1000 in the pool yesterday to "talk myself down." (I decided I was too embarrassed to get out and have a panic attack in front of everybody, so I kept going.)

I've been avoiding writing this post because I don't want people to know how crazy I feel. But a friend suggested that folks might like to know that I'm going through this, so that if/when they have their own doubts and fears, they'll know it's normal and everybody else (even Tenacious J) goes through it. So, here you go.

If I get the nerve up, maybe I'll talk more about it. I'm sure this, too, will pass. In the meantime, I'm still training and trying to just focus on the moment: this day, this workout, this mile. When the next day/workout/mile comes, then I'll think about that one.

Also, I just want to say that I'm sick and tired of prepping my fuel for long rides. I look forward to normal workouts where I just grab a bottle and a gel and head out the door.

As long as I'm bitching: POLLEN SUCKS, and I'm tired of coughing.

I've made an appointment for a long massage - that will help me relax mentally and physically. Other appointments I've been thinking of making are with a nutritionist (for help with race day fueling), Dr Awesome (haven't seen him in a while; legs feel great but I'm sure I could use a tune-up), and maybe a shrink. I feel like I need one! And there is no shame in seeing one! I wonder, if I spilled my guts to big-head SmackDonald, would he use it against me on the bike leg? Hmmm.... He still wouldn't beat me.

Yeah, there's still a little Tenacious J left in there somewhere. Maybe she's hiding out until all the crazy leaves. It may be a while.

T.T.S.P.

Another another another week. How do I slow this down? Here we are, EIGHT weeks out from Ironman Texas. Holy cow.

This week started off poorly. After the asthma bomb was dropped, I dutifully took my new meds and tried to ignore the side effects. One of them gave me sore muscles and joints, some muscle cramps, then muscle weakness. After four days of it, my doc told me to quit. NO PROBLEM. Twenty-four hours later, I was already improving. It took 4 days and I finally feel like I'm almost back to normal.

Wednesday's long run was supposed to be 12.7 miles. It started off well, but my muscles fatigued very quickly. After 6 miles I was bargaining with myself: Maybe you can scrap this tonight and try the long run on Friday. Another mile later: Maybe just two more miles, then you can drive home and do the last 4 on the treadmill. Another mile later: I'll just run a half mile out, then turn around and come back and re-negotiate. Somehow I pushed through and got in 12.3. That was enough.

The run was difficult physically, but even worse mentally. The meds were giving me some anxiety, and that was turning into fear. I was afraid to use the inhaler, I was afraid not to use the inhaler; I was afraid to do the entire run, I was afraid that if I didn't do it I wouldn't be on track with my training; but mostly, I was afraid that I am not cut out for doing an Ironman. What if I'm just not physically able? That's one thing - but how would I know? How do I know if my inner voice is just fear, or if it's warning me? Even if I am physically prepared, I cannot do an Ironman with that fear inside of me. I guess everyone has these doubts. I hope everyone has these doubts.

I do know this: If I quit anything due to fear, I will never be able to begin again. I have to keep pushing through. It will get better, and I will be stronger for it. I CANNOT QUIT.

Thursday was my first day back in the pool in a week. Since I'm using an inhaler, my lungs seem to take in so much more air now. I was breathing about 30% less often than before. But my muscles were so weak - I could barely get a good push off the wall. I tried making myself breathe more, but then I was borderline hyperventilating, so that was out. That workout was supposed to be my monthly time trial, but I just could not get any speed at all. So I decided to adjust my workout and enjoy the easy swim as a recovery from the previous night's run. I was glad to see that my easy pace is still decent, so if I go that pace during the Ironman swim, I will finish that leg in an acceptable time.

Luckily, I stopped the other medication Thursday, so by Friday's swim I was already improving. I think I will get back to normal soon.

Friday night's run included tempo intervals - my first ones since starting this training plan. I was so excited! Although I was running faster, my breathing never sped up. Again, the inhaler must be working wonders. However, it also increases heartrate: I hit my highest heartrate since three years ago. And my breathing was still slow to medium. I guess it's going to take some time to adjust to the effects of the inhaler, and re-calibrate my perceived effort. I can't go by my breathing rate at all right now.

Saturday I rode 63 miles in warm, windy weather. I knew the wind would make for an interesting ride, but as Sophie told me, "When it's windy, it makes it harder, but it also makes you stronger." Amen, kiddo. So, I applied some red Sharpie motivation to my hand and headed out the door.

 

I rode with a new friend and we didn't have a specific route in mind, so we kind of just went where we felt like. It was a fun ride, but there were some tough moments. For a little while I didn't think I would be able to finish; I just didn't have all my muscle power back yet, and I felt myself wearing down on a particularly hilly section. After about 3 miles of uphill into the wind, I seriously doubted my ability to do the race. How the hell do you ride 112 miles then run a marathon? This is insane. Stupid crazy. But then I remembered, the bad moments pass. So as I trudged up those hills (very very slowly), I chanted in my head with each pedal stroke: This too shall pass. This too shall pass. T.T.S.P. This too shall pass.

And you know what? It did pass.

Miles 50 to 58 finally brought the tailwind. I must say, that is THE BEST way to finish a ride. All of a sudden, your legs are fresh and you are sad that it's time to stop. But as we approached the finish, I started thinking: Miles 60-90 on the IMTX course reportedly have a headwind. I'd better see what it's like to ride into the wind after 60 miles while I have the chance. So I went a couple extra miles down the road, turned around, and did the last 2 miles of the ride straight into the wind. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't too terrible either. I could've kept going for a while if I had to.

But instead, I stuck to the plan. I hopped off the bike and ran for 20 minutes on the high school track. That was also an experience - running straight into the wind over and over! Are you supposed to get aero when running, like you do on the bike? I found myself putting my head down when on the windy side, like I was on the offensive line. Get low! The lower guy has the power! Okay, so even if I can't finish the race, I may be able to at least tackle somebody.

There were many good things about yesterday's ride: I never had any knee pain; my saddle was comfortable the whole time; I didn't get sunburned; I took in enough calories, electrolytes and carbs per hour, and never had any stomach upset; and I drank more than I have been, which will become more important as the weather warms up.

Speaking of weather warming up: It was 45 degrees on my last long ride; yesterday it was 80. I wasn't expecting it to warm up so fast, but I'm not complaining - I only have 8 weeks to acclimate to the heat. So hurry up, spring!

The best part of yesterday's workout was how I felt afterwards: GREAT. I had energy, my muscles weren't fatigued, I wasn't tight, and I didn't get The Headache. Today my legs felt just fine. I am very, very happy. Please please please let this mean my body is getting stronger and my fueling is on track.

Today's recovery run was so wonderful; I got to run in the sunshine with a wonderful friend whom I don't see very often. She always makes my inner child so happy. I left smiling and ready to take on the challenge of another week.

At this point in time, my head is screwed back on the right way and I am feeling confident again. I am trying to view this all as a big experiment and to enjoy the process. I will keep fighting and smiling and playing and trying and we will just see how far I can get. And when I finally cross that finish line in Texas, I will know that I can accomplish absolutely anything - whether my mind thinks so or not.

Great news! I have asthma!

 

Sometimes I think I should've named this blog "The Bright Side Is..." or maybe "Polyanna." I can't help it - I'm always looking for the bright side of things. Today was a good opportunity for that.

I had my first appointment with my new doctor. She was very thorough, and she was able to shed light on some things my previous physician had not been able to help with. For example, I always thought I had "a touch of exercise-induced asthma" that never caused much of a problem. She gave me a lung fuction test, asked a million questions, gave me a breathing treatment, tested my lung function again, and informed me I do have asthma - but not the cool athlete type. Just the normal nerdy type.

I was a bit surprised at first, but after talking with her, it all makes sense. I won't go into the litany of clues over the years (which now all seem to make the diagnosis crystal clear). I will say that my test score was a bit low ("like that of someone with pnuemonia," to quote the doc). But after the breathing treatment, I showed much improvement. I came home with two prescriptions and am already feeling better. It's funny the bad things you don't notice (like not being able to take a deep breath) until they get better. I'm actually sitting here enjoying breathing. Okay, I can't believe I just typed that. Maybe I'm giddy with oxygen.

Why is this good news? Because now that I know there's a problem, we can fix it. And fixing it will mean more oxygen, which will make me stronger and faster! MUST GET FASTER!!!!

ANOTHER Another Week Closer

14 weeks in... 10 weeks out. I'm in that vast wasteland of the training plan called "The Middle." The Middle is not exciting like The Beginning ("Woo-hoo! I'm training for an Ironman! This is fun! I feel great!") or The End ("Woo-hoo! I'm about to do an Ironman! I'm almost there! I feel great!"). It's more like "Woo-freaking-hoo. I've been at this forever and there is still a long way to go. Will I ever be ready?"

This week was a recovery week, which worked out well, since I caught a cold. (For those of you playing at home, that's 2 colds within a month. This is out of the norm for me. Somebody needs to eat less chocolate/more vegetables and get more rest.)

Tuesday was my monthly Heartrate Zone Test on the bike (trainer). The numbers are showing continued improvement - hooray!

I slogged through a 10-mile run Wednesday night in the cold wind. I took it really easy because I knew I was coming down with something. The legs felt okay. It was good practice for running while thinking constantly about quitting.

Both swims this week showed slight improvement too - another second or two faster here and there at easy/steady pace.

By Thursday afternoon, I was dragging. I got through an hour recovery spin Thursday evening (in retrospect, I should have just rested). Friday, I felt like shit, so I took an unscheduled rest day - skipped both the swim and the run. I spent the day in bed.

Saturday's three hour bike ride became a 45-minute walk through the neighborhood, with a few minutes of slow jogging here and there. It felt good to get out in the sunshine and move for a bit. It would've been a great day for a ride... Oh well. Plenty of days of great riding are ahead.

Today I may hop on the trainer for an hour or two. I'll keep intensity low, just get the legs moving and keep the sit-bones used to the saddle.

Friday and Saturday marked the first time in 14 weeks that I missed workouts. I knew there would be points in training when I wouldn't be able to complete the entire week's schedule due to sickness or work or family obligations. The goal is to complete 80-90% of all workouts, and to be sure I get the necessary long rides and runs done. So, I'm unconcerned about this blip. I'd rather recover and be well more quickly. I hope to be back 100% by Wednesday for my long run.

Another milestone from the past week was my birthday. 39 years old. How the hell did THAT happen? This is my last year of racing in this age group. Come to think of it, I've always raced in this age group - I've only been running/doing tris for a few years. Next year, I will be a Master. The people in my family have done amazing things in their 40s, so I'm not afraid of it. I just don't feel 39. Yesterday I wore pigtails.

It would embarrass JC if I wrote about what he gave me, so I won't. Let's just say it was exactly what I needed. I will read it daily and think about it many times during training and during the race. He is such an incredible man.

Another Week Closer

Today marks the end of week 13. A week ago was the halfway point of training, and I was so busy and tired, I couldn't even commemorate it with a blog post.

The halfway point marked a turn-around in my thinking. I went from "I have a long road ahead of me" to "Oh shit, I only have 12 more weeks." It doesn't seem like I'm far enough along in my long rides. I've ridden 60 or a little more three times so far. I need to get up to 100+, preferably more than once. Plus, the last two weeks are taper, so I really only have 10 weeks. And, here we are a week later already -- so that tells me the next 9 weeks are pretty important.

Run training has been going well. My long run is up to 12 miles, and I'm happy and relaxed when I run. I'm not sore during or afterward at all.

Swim training is coming along, I guess. I'm still mediocre at best, but a second off here and there is helpful. I'm looking forward to starting open water swims in April.

Last weekend, I did my long ride alone. I didn't map out an exact route - I just explored. I turned down any road that looked interesting. I found dozens of million-dollar homes along the lake. It was a pleasant way to tick off the miles.

Yesterday, a group of us when down to Augusta to ride the Half Ironman course. It was a tough day. The temp was in the low 40s, it was overcast, and there was some wind. It sprinkled on us a few times too. It was the third time I've ridden that course and it was by far the least enjoyable. I'm glad there were friends there with me to make it bearable. I did well keeping my effort in Zone 2, especially on the hills. But it was more than a little frustrating to think I did that course a full 3mph faster just 5 months ago - then ran a strong 13.1 miles afterward.

Today I have The Headache. I haven't had a post-ride headache in months. I think I had my shoulders tensed up because of the cold, and now my neck & shoulders are tight and sore and my head is feeling the effects. The pain makes me nauseated. I took one advil and one tylenol (the horror!). I have to do an easy run for just an hour today, and I'm hoping the endorphins will help. If not, I'll take something stronger afterward. This too shall pass.

The good news about yesterday's ride and run is that I did well with hydration and nutrition. I took in what I'd planned, I didn't get an upset stomach, and my energy level remained constant. When the weather starts to warm up, I'll have to tweak things some more, but this is a good start.

Today I watched a YouTube video of the IMTX run course. When will I stop getting nervous when I watch/think about these things? I have a lot of mental work to do.

I need to get up off this couch and do my run... I think I can I think I can I think I can...

Plugging Along

It's been another busy week. At work, I'm transitioning to a new job focus. For 10+ of my 15 years at ERI, I've managed the day-to-day operations of inside sales. Now I'm passing off a lot of my daily tasks to someone else, and taking over outside sales. I'll be traveling more, re-negotiating and re-writing the contracts with our distributors and content producers, and growing that part of the business. We're also rolling out another online training option, which involves a lot of learning on my part; then I'll need to train the sales staff on the new options and manage the product launch. All of this thinking and learning has worn me out.

I also had a rehearsal and concert two evenings this week. As the first gig approached, I wondered why I was stupid/crazy/optimistic enough to even sign up for these a few weeks ago, knowing I'd have 12+ hours of workouts to fit in. But the material was low-key (Carnival of the Animals and Peter & the Wolf) and I really enjoyed myself. It was a welcome change from work and exercise. Plus, the money will buy me a new set of running shoes. Winning!

The easiest parts of my week were my workouts - which went well. No major breakthroughs this week, but I put good work in, which I'm sure will give rewards down the road.

Wednesday's long run (10.75) was thorougly enjoyable. Cardio-wise, I feel I could go forever. I'm not even tired after my long runs anymore, since I'm forcing myself to stay in Zone 2. (I remember the days of doing long runs on Saturday mornings, then coming home and sleeping the afternoon away because I was so worn out.) The usual aches and discomforts of long runs aren't setting in until mile 10 or so, whereas they used to show up at mile 6 or 7. And my Zone 2 pace is slowly getting a bit faster. More good news: I haven't had any knee pain during a workout in about two weeks.

I've been fighting a little head cold this week. Just a few years ago, a  cold would make me miserable for a week or more, then turn into sinusitis and bronchitis; now, it's just an inconvenience for a few days. Here's to being healthier! I don't have a runny nose, just some head congestion. The weirdest effect of it has been in the pool. When I flip-turn, I hear a little squeak from my sinuses. For the first 10 minutes of Thursday's swim, I couldn't figure out where this squeaking noise was coming from! First I thought it was my watch, then I thought it might be a clock buzzer, or maybe even a lifeguard whistle. But then I noticed it was happening only when I flipped. It was coming from inside my head! Weird.

Since it's raining again today, and I don't want to spend 3+ hours on the trainer, I've decided to ride tomorrow morning. I haven't ridden outdoors in 2 weeks. Last I heard, Ironman Texas is not an indoor race; so I'm flip-flopping my workouts for the weekend so I can ride outside. Why do I feel like I'm doing something wrong when I move workouts around? Tomorrow's scheduled run is just a recovery run to recuperate from the long ride; Monday is a rest day, so I will still have time to recover before starting next week's workouts. I guess it's just a mental adjustment. In the end, everything will get done and have the desired effect.

Week 11

Week. 11 presented some challenges: another swim workout was added to the weekly schedule, a brick run was added after Saturday's long ride, and JC was out of town. I wasn't sure I'd be able to get all the workouts in, but somehow, I did it. Hooray!

I owe this week's success to several things:
#1: My Mom. Mom picked up Sophie several afternoons, and kept her overnight Thursday night and all day Friday (school was out for a mini winter break). And she always asks me if I need her help so I can get my weekend workouts done. Thanks, Mom!

#2: My Job. I am very, very fortunate to have a job that does not require to me arrive at a certain time. I'm also able to take a long lunch every so often to go swim. I don't know how people with a strict work schedule are able to fit in all their weekday training. I guess they get up earlier than I do. I'm also not sure how people manage to wear real clothes to work every day. If I don't have meetings, I'm in running shorts. Period.

#3: My Penchant for Planning. When there are so many things to fit into one day, half of them won't get done unless I plan ahead. Swim and bike on Thursday? Which one before work, which one after? Is there something to heat up easily for supper? Pack your bag Wednesday night. Remember to bring something to eat/drink right after your swim for recovery. Bring first and second lunch to work, and a snack. Blah blah blah... And what if there is a snafu, such as the Y's pool being closed during my planned swim time, as it was Thursday? Always have a back-up plan.

The madness of my method: planning out the week

So, somehow, it all got done.

Friday night, I finally accepted that the weather Saturday was going to be too crappy (read: unsafe) to do my long ride outdoors. I was going to have to ride 2 hours 45 minutes on the trainer. I've never liked watching movies while on the trainer, but I didn't see any other way to get through it, so I pulled up Netflix and chose "Raising Arizona." (Can you believe I had never seen it?) It passed the time and even got a few laughs out of me. Then I watched the pilot for "Once Upon a Time" (not terrible) and an episode of "South Park" (always a pleasure).

The other trick to getting through a long trainer ride is to have a workout planned. To just hop on and ride in Zone 2 for almost three hours is NOT going to happen. So I pulled some gems from Workouts in a Binder for Indoor Cycling and wrote out my plan:

Trust me. Having a plan makes the time on the trainer go by much faster.

The ride went okay. I did hop off after an hour and forty-five minutes to lower the riser for my front wheel. The front end was up too high, which put too much weight on the saddle. You can imagine the discomfort. After the adjustment, I was good to go for the last hour. When I was done, I changed into a dry shirt and my running shoes and headed outside for my first brick of the season.

I only had to run 20 minutes in Zone 1. My feet, calves and shins were pretty tight, but I remembered that they would eventually loosen up if I just kept moving. Sure enough, after fifteen minutes, my legs felt light and springy. I was feeling good when it was time to stop. The rain/sleet/hail that fell while I ran was actually soothing - another one of those "good for the soul" workouts.

Sunday's recovery run was slow and easy, and I finally got to add some strides. Oh Happy Day! When you haven't been allowed to run fast for 10 weeks, 20 seconds fast just feels glorious. The only downside is some shin pain on the right leg. I'll keep an eye on it and get it tended to appropriately if needed. I don't have to run again until Wednesday, so I'm sure the rest time will help.

Sophie said today that once I complete the Ironman, I'll actually be an athlete. Then she warned me again that it's going to be hot. "It's in May, Mom. It's hot in May. And it's in Texas. It's hot in Texas."

It's hard to believe it's only three months away.

Too tired to name this one

I was supposed to swim before work today. Just as I was about to drive to the Y, I saw a post on facebook that the pool was temporarily closed. (Thanks, Lou, for posting that and saving me a long, fruitless drive!) So I surprised my co-workers and went to the office ultra-super-early (or, as some people call it, "on time").

I took a long lunch so I could get my swim done. Today was my monthly swim test, which consists of a good warm-up, then a 1,000 yard time trial. I'm happy to report that I shaved 37 seconds off my total time, which is just under 4 seconds per 100 yards. In the grand scheme of things, that sort of improvement will save me two and a half minutes on the Ironman swim - which is not a whole lot, when you consider I'll be racing for anywhere from 13 to 17 hours. But, improvement is always good - and it beats the hell out of getting slower. Here's to lowering my 100 time another 4 seconds by next month's test!

I had a one hour recovery spin on the trainer tonight. Something told me to check the resistance dial before I began. It was then that I discovered that someone (I'm not going to name names) fiddled with my dial and turned the resistance up a notch. I recall this person playing with it several days ago, before Tuesday's trainer ride. So, now I know why my legs felt heavy and slow Tuesday! It wasn't my legs, it was the resistance! Obviously, my little helper is just trying to make me stronger.

Adaptation

Week 11 is flying by. JC is out of town for a week, so I'm a working single mom in addition to training. In order to fit all my workouts in, I've had to schedule each day down to the minute.

Today was my weekly long run. Normally I do the long run on Wednesday evening, but I had to switch it up and run before work today. It seemed like a good idea when I planned it:

5:30: Alarm goes off; hit the snooze twice
5:50: Start the coffeemaker; crawl in bed with Sophie to cuddle
6:00: Get Sophie up and started in her routine; get dressed; fix breakfast
6:40: Out the door to the bus stop 
6:45: As the bus pulls away, start my run
8:25: Finish run, stretch, eat, hop in shower, get dressed
9:10: Leave for work

However, Sophie's cough woke her up in the middle of the night, which meant I was up with her from 3 to 4am. When that alarm went off at 5:30, I was NOT a happy camper. Unfortunately, I also was not coherent, and I managed to turn off the alarm rather than hit the snooze button. Crikey.

I opened my eyes at 6:08 and uttered some bad words. By some miracle, I got Soph ready and out the door in time to catch the bus, but I hadn't done everything I needed to do before my run (fuel, dress properly for the run, etc). It was about 48 degrees and raining lightly, and it took every ounce of strength I had not to crawl back into bed.

So, at 7:15 (only 30 minute behind schedule!), I started my run. It was only cold for the first few minutes. I kept my jacket sleeve pulled down over C-3P0 so I couldn't see my heartrate or pace. I was supposed to run in Zone 2, so I set my watch to beep at me if my heartrate entered Zone 3. I just ran - no music, no heartrate monitor in my face, no planned route, no timer or pace screen ticking away.

IT. WAS. WONDERFUL.

It felt good. It felt easy. It felt fun. But the best part was, my pace was 45 seconds per mile faster than my previous long runs, and my heartrate was perfect. YIPPEE!!!! All those weeks of base building, all those slooooooooow runs and rides, they're paying off now. My pace is faster, my heartrate is lower (including resting heartrate, down by 7 beats per minute since 4 weeks ago), and I've dropped a little body fat and gained some muscle.

Have I mentioned how much I loved base phase? :)

Oh, one more thing: I did learn something today. Bacon before a 5-mile run is great. Bacon before a 10-mile run is not.